natalie's narrative

It's okay

This is Christmas number three without my dad, and I’ve noticed a little bit of a change with how I’m approaching/reacting to the holidays this year. I’ve started to realize that things will be okay.

Never will my life go back to “normal,” but I’ve noticed in little ways that the holidays feel different to me this year. I can actually listen to Christmas music, and I got excited this year about putting up a tree. I know these are little things that have nothing to do with the point of Christmas, but before, petty details like this would make me cry or make me want to waste my day on the couch, in the dark.

I was so lucky to grow up with good memories and meaningful family traditions, so those little things would remind me of the past—something it feels like my family and I will never get back. But when the calendar started rolling around to November/December this year, I didn’t have this automatic urge to just skip right to January. Grieving-wise, I actually feel like I’m seeing progress with recovering. And I don’t think the distraction of having to memorize 3 months’ worth of learning into 3-hour exams has anything to do with it. No, I really think that I’m at the point where I can say, “It’s going to be okay.” In the past couple of years, I’ve had some dark, dark times where I never thought I would be able to say that again, so this is a big deal for me! If anyone out there is still in skip-to-January mode, that’s okay too. You’re allowed to be a grinch…whatever gets you through :)

But don’t even get me started on another aspect of Christmas--the disgusting consumerism that has taken over! Ack!

Post bailout...

Finishing up Brian McLaren's Everything Must Change as a study break/reward is getting interesting in light of our post-bailout scenario.  The government has just approved a $700 billion taxpayer-funded rescue of Wall Street, after our free-market hypercapitalism went awry.  I started reading this book over the summer, before huge wads of money were thrown at our financial institutions.  McLaren discusses the pressing need to address poverty, AIDS, and the shortage of drinking water, among other things.  He also discusses the insane amount of wealth we have here in the USA.  Knowing now that $700 billion can be freed up so quickly should put us to shame.

McLaren refers to the "equity system" in our society, which assures that some members of society do not end up with an unfair advantage over other members.  The equity system is a system of justice that is supposed to develop and enforce laws, distribute society's expenses (through taxes), and establish and protect the press and court system so as to expose inequities.  Since laws, distribution, and the courts at times fail us, nongovernmental organizations and charities have been developed to address inequities. 

When the equity system ends up sputtering, our society can see some serious problems.  The equity system has become unable to "intervene, recalibrate, [and] reorder," because perhaps our leaders have removed the mechanisms that allow the equity system to work.  McLaren reminds us we're living in a time of "'free markets,' and the word free suggests that the equity system should be in handcuffs, if not a straitjacket so as to not interfere" (231).

McLaren continues:

"One naturally asks, What are markets to be free from?  What are they freed for?  For what purpose?  Are markets freed from government regulation so that the rich can achieve luxurious levels of wealth, leaving the poor to starve or barely survive in degradation and indignity?  Are markets free so that inequity can reach its apogee, providing liberty and justice for a very few?  Are markets free so that those who plunder the environment can do so without accountability, or so that those who exploit the labor of the poor can do so without impunity?  Is there no equity system that seeks to redress these injustices?  Are the powerful free for the purpose of pursuing prosperity and security without equity?"  (231)

An unfettered free market, which many Christians have supported by being in lockstep with conservative politicians, results in CEOs flying to Washington in private jets to ask for government money, while these CEOs' factories and plants continue to be shut down, causing more job loss and struggling families.  These same CEOs will say on television that they "Think they're doing just fine" with an $8 million salary, all the while their employees hope to at least be able to preserve their retirement savings in the failing economy.  Yep, reading Everything Must Change after the bailout(s) has been enlightening.