In moving away from a conservative faith, I have strugged with the idea of exclusivity and absolutism. In November 2009 I shared a Martin Marty piece about this: Armageddonist Absolutism. His piece dealt with how difficult it is to dialogue with people who feel they simply can't change their mind or reconsider their interpretation of Scripture, because the stakes would be very high. Deviating from what they believe to be Truth-with-a-capital-T means that they would be heretical, and thus bound for hell. It seems like this belief may be fairly common among theological/political conservatives - or at least I feel this because I behaved exactly this way as a conservative Christian.
Previously, I didn't have a problem with firmly entrenched beliefs because the stakes were high. I felt proud to defend my faith and ensure it wasn't watered down, and looking back, I also felt threatened, because where I would spend eternity was potentially at stake.
Since I've moved away from digging my heels in and insisting my version of faith is the only correct one, I am attempting to behave generously to my more conservative sisters and brothers.
I try to remind myself of the atmosphere I was lucky enough to witness at Wheaton. Believers from all over the spectrum co-existed...most of the time in peace! It was encouraging to see healthy, respectful debate, without anyone reaching the conclusion that so-and-so must not be saved if she believes that. Of course what I saw at Wheaton wasn't perfect. Disappointingly, a professor who converted to Catholicism, and another who would not disclose his reason for his divorce, left the college.
Although flawed, a community that espoused the idea of "in essentials, unity; in differences, liberty; in all things, charity," taught me a lot. Another often-repeated idea was the Augustinian notion of "faith seeking understanding."
The problem is that sometimes I don't know how to extend generosity without coming across as accepting someone's beliefs, especially if those beliefs are offensive to me. I don't know how to "agree to disagree" with those who condemn gay people or who feel that a woman cannot be a deacon. In my mind, agreeing to disagree doesn't confront the status quo, and I feel like I'm giving up. I feel like I have some sort of duty to defend those who may not have an opportunity to speak up for themselves (as a result of the church's de-facto or purposeful exclusion, so they're not even present to speak up).
That is to say, I really don't care if a believer is a Calvinist or Arminian, or a pre-millienaliast or post-millenialiast, or even if she espouses creationism only and claims that evolutionary theory isn't "true." Differences truly begin to bother me when a fellow Christian's belief results in hurting, excluding, and oppressing others.
I always think if I would have been around during the slavery or Jim Crow eras, I hope that I would have taken a strong but loving stand against my many, many fellow believers who felt that it was acceptable to treat others that way. For today's issues, even if it isn't something as obvious or explicit as slavery or racial discrimination, I hope that I can count myself among Christians who are taking a stand for the oppressed.
I don't know how to deal with this. It becomes difficult to graciously respond to certain beliefs that have not only wounded me, but have caused deep, painful wounds in others. Any suggestions? At work, the managing attorneys provide "scripts" for the in-court attorneys to say to judges when certain situations arise, so a script for this situation would be great...
Just kidding about the script part, but I really would welcome any suggestions!
